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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?